Why You Will Never Know How I Feel

There are a million ways I could answer this question.

When somebody hurts you, is your first inclination to let them know how you feel, or to brush it off and pretend it never happened?

Why will you* never know how I feel? Because darling, I have too much pride, and I’ve already lost a great deal of it dealing with you. In my head, never speaking to you unless you talk to me, and pretending like nothing happened is the most effective way in dealing with situations like these. No matter how much it hurts, you will never know, and I will never reveal what I am thinking. You will think that I am doing just fine. And I am. I really am. My very subtle efforts at communicating just how fine I am have seemed to work. I wanted to prove a point.

It’s better off this way. Why rip the bandage off a wound? I am not one to run away from my problems, but when things are just beyond repair, why bother trying? Talking about things doesn’t always make it better.

And the best part is, over time I really will believe that I am fine. Because wounds heal, and life goes on. And honestly, there is nothing that time can’t heal.

And I can really say I am fine now. It’s a nice feeling.

But it was a long journey getting to this point.

*You is plural. Interpret this piece however you like, however I tried to make it fit multiple aspects of my social relationships.

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