April 22, 2018.
How did we even get here? How is a third of the year gone? How can I already smell summer in the air?
Nothing this year has really felt real. So many weird, absurd, amazing, joyous, strange things have happened from day 1 to right now. Sometimes I feel like I’m having an out of body experience where I just watch myself go through the motions of life and witness things happening to me.
Things aren’t dramatically different day to day, but when you look at where you were months or years before, so much has changed that sometimes I’m in disbelief that this is my life now. Why does the concept of time seem increasingly quicker as I get older?
But mainly, I’m just glad for my health and those of my loved ones. I’m grateful for the chance to live life on my own terms. I complain and spend hours trying to sort out little intricate “problems” of taking care of my own space – and then realize how fortunate I am to even have these problems in the first place. I’m happy that I feel so at home in my home.
Nothing is ever perfect. And this year I’m learning to let go of my perfectionist ideals – whether it’s failing to maintain a spotless place 24/7, missing a yoga class, skipping a social event when I’m exhausted, ‘oh I’ll watch The Bachelor tonight instead of working on my side projects’. The list goes on. Taking care of my mental & physical health is my biggest priority this year, and I’m not scared to say that I’m being selfish – because if I’m not taking care of myself, no one else is going to do it for me.
Let it go, because life’s too short to get hung up on whether things are perfect. The best you can do is try your best, and forget the rest. You can’t “do it all” at 100%, 100% of the time.
I’ve also learned that life is not a continual high – there are natural ups and downs, expansions and contractions – and just because you feel down right now doesn’t mean it’ll last forever, because it won’t. And just because things are amazing right now, doesn’t mean you won’t have your bad days later on.
Despite the day to day insanity, I know I’m going to be okay. I’m really proud of everything I’ve accomplished thus far, what kind of person I’ve become, and I’m excited to see where the rest of the year goes.